She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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