you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
