I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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