it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
