oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
