Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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