All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize