At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
