I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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