yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
