i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
