I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Alive.
So much puke
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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