the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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