I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
