New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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