I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How does one acquire holy water?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
