The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
