he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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