Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
