They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize