I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
