It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
