Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
