I love black thongs
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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