Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
