operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
