Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
