I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
