***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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