did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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