Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
