just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
