I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
