If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize