how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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