just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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