Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
