I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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