is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
