why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
