Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this will be a night to untag.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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