it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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