I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
