A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
