So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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