Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
