I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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