my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
