Betty ford says i'm here all night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
