he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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