I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He is an equal opportunity slut.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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