ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
a search helicopter?!
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
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