If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
