3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
