i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
