i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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