Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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