Its about making memories worth repressing
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
