drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
