she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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